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AND ANOTHER THING.

As I told my friend Meghan, it would do my heart some good if all the cowboys out there would shut the fuck up. The self-congratulatory, faux-messiah, would-be hero bullshit is truly insulting to real human beings who were really there and who are really fucking suffering. Your Wyatt Earp nonsense diminishes legitimate grief and pain.

AND ONE MORE FUCKING THING, and I promise I'll shut the hell up.

As Kate put it: 'It doesn't matter why the kids were at the movies in CO. Stop. Blaming. Victims.'

So fucking what if some parents took their kids to a midnight movie? Somehow it makes it /their/ fault that a lunatic gunman went berserk and shot at them? I reckon a movie theatre ranks pretty high up there in the list of Reasonably Safe Places to Take Your Children No Matter What Time It Is. Stop blaming victims.

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
ragdoll
Jul. 20th, 2012 06:54 pm (UTC)
Amen. Can I just add that people (including the media) need to stop blaming people who dress up in costumes to see a film (esp the first showing of a big Geek franchise like Batman) and people who read comic books? *sigh*
karnerblue
Jul. 20th, 2012 07:16 pm (UTC)
I don't think that questioning the baby being there means you're blaming them. I questioned why you'd bring a baby to a midnight movie -- it was a detail that stood out to me amid the carnage, why would you bring a baby who should be sleeping to a late movie that's likely to be noisy, wake the baby and make it fuss, annoying other movie patrons? But there's a huge difference between an ill-advised decision and a reckless one -- there's no way anyone could know that a lunatic would come in and start shooting at such a presumably safe place as a movie theater. It doesn't make much sense that the baby was there, but that doesn't mean it deserved to be shot at.
kebechet
Jul. 20th, 2012 07:23 pm (UTC)
I agree that the discussion of certain parenting choices (bringing a baby to a movie, keeping kids out that late, bringing kids to see a violent movie) are all worthy topics of discussion, and that in and of itself isn't the problem. However, I question, personally, the appropriateness of discussing it while many people are suffering and while the actual tragedy is so fresh in people's minds.

What I keep seeing are people saying that it's the parents' fault and the childrens' fault that they were shot because of this particular choice. They went to a midnight movie in a "bad" neighborhood, so it's their fault that they were injured or killed. They should have known better. They were in the wrong place at the wrong time, made bad choices, and deserved what they got. That's victim blaming, and as far as I'm concerned, it's wrong.

Edited at 2012-07-20 07:25 pm (UTC)
ashbet
Jul. 20th, 2012 08:09 pm (UTC)
Thank you for this <3

I lived in Montgomery County, in two of the targeted neighborhoods, when the DC Snipers had their reign of terror. Someone was shot at MY post office, and we all had to decide whether it was safe to leave the house *at all* -- I was driving my daughter to school and running her inside, shielding her with my body. And I know that, if something had happened to us, I would have been questioned as a mother for not quitting my job, for not keeping her home from school.

There is no place that is truly "safe", only calculated risk. But no one can live in constant fear and raise their children that way.

Blaming parents for a madman showing up to a movie theater -- it's like blaming someone for getting struck by lightning.

-- A <3

Edited at 2012-07-20 08:11 pm (UTC)
nightpaws
Jul. 20th, 2012 07:44 pm (UTC)
Last I knew, at least in Fairbanks, AK, there is a small sticker on the movie theater doors that states firearms are not allowed on the premises. Thus, people are not allowed to carry in any manner (concealed or open) guns into that business. Fine. They have a right to do so, nothing wrong with that. Quite a few spots here and there do that.

So I agree with you in that it was within the parents' rights to believe they and their little ones are in a safe place. "Bad neighborhood" or not, that is bullshit. Last I checked going to the movies is NOT the same as going to a gunfight, or any real live violent thing.

It's not any of those peoples' faults that they were shot. It disgusts me when insane criminals do things like that, and then others blame the victims.


(I'm not fond of babies or small children out super late, especially when it's at a movie geared towards adults that is loud and wakes them up so they start screaming. That isn't the kids' faults though, that's just poor parenting. To me it's the same as people who can't help but text/check email/facebook on their phones for the entire movie, thus the little backlit devices keep popping on.)
reynardine
Jul. 20th, 2012 07:59 pm (UTC)
Amen. All this blaming the victims takes away from a) the tragedy itself and b) the fact that the gunman was able to get so many guns legally.

And all those would-be heroes? Most of them have no idea what it would really be like.

People should be able to go see a freakin' movie in peace.
psychopompous_9
Jul. 20th, 2012 08:08 pm (UTC)
while, sure, who wants to go to a midnight movie with a baby screaming... that isn't the point here. what is the point is that a CRAZY PSYCHOPATH WITH GUNS SHOT A BUNCH OF PEOPLE IN A CROWDED THEATRE. this? this kind of negates the who/why of the audience, imho.
agameofthree
Jul. 20th, 2012 08:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I'm as horrified as anyone about what happened in Colorado, especially since I lived there and have friends there. The judgmental people, though, are really pissing me off. Not everyone has family and/or babysitters that they are near and/or trust. Going to the movies is expensive; hiring a babysitter on top of that even more so. Does that mean parent(s) that don't have money, family, friends and/or a babysitter shouldn't be allowed to go to the movies and enjoy a night out, even if it is with kid(s) in tow? I makes more sense to bring your infant to a midnight showing than, say, a 5PM showing. Most kids sleep then, and very young kids usually can sleep through anything. I know my daughter could, and did.

Also, every parent knows their child best, and what they can and can't handle. I wouldn't take my 9 year-old to this particular movie, but I've taken her to/let her watch movies that would probably make other people question my judgment. Fuck that. I know her and what she can handle, and it's not based (entirely) on her age, but who she is as a person.

This isn't about babies and/or children crying in a theater. Yeah, that's rude of the parents not to do something about it. But it's also rude to text or use your cell. So is kicking the back of someone's seat. So is talking loudly and/or to the screen. These are all things that adults do, though, yet no one paints all adults with that particular brush, or criticize adults being in movie theaters/on airplanes/in restaurants.

It's just another way of taking focus away from the sheer horror of what happened, and the underlying reasons of why it happened. It's also, IMO, just another fucking attack on women, as when we say "bad parenting choices," what we really mean are "bad mothering choices." Women and children are treated like second-class citizens in this country, and it's appalling. We are such a family-unfriendly country, when it really comes down to it, no matter what the rhetoric preaches.

Sorry. Obviously a sore spot.

I wish healing to everyone touched by this, and hope against hope it won't just throw us into more divisiveness, although that's looking less and less likely. :(
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )